Its been a while I have been away from my blog treading on with the waves of life, collecting some shells by the shore...All this while I built some castles of sand which were swallowed away by the giant waves at the wink of an eye and i could do nothing but tread on...At this point i remember one of my favorite numbers from Avril, Nobody's Home:
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs
She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside
Seen death from a close proximity on a pyre ready to set flames to the flesh n blood for eternity to succeed. Felt numb to think if its the ultimate truth, y should we keep running behind our ambitions, y it gets so difficult to utter a simple word like "sorry" sometimes,y cant v be like the kids who play, fight, forget and den back to being friends, y not be easy going , y frustration takes root in our hearts, y this comparison with the neighbors daughter/son who is earning more, everyone has a weakness,a dark side , y extol d darker side to subjugate n make fun of someone while you hide your own weakness(s) , y it becomes so much important for us to wait for others to cover up the grueling distances n rather take d first step , y it becomes so difficult to forget a dream turned bad, y people tend to leave you alone when u r a failure, y cant people speak wt dey blv in .
Lately somewhere I had found " Dont think You are the only one with all the problems, everyone has problems but they dont show it" If we dont depict what really v r going through are we being Tough Matured ? Being grown ups mean you cant be yourself? You have to camouflage yourself with a fake smile? Y be robots to program n control our emotions, after all apart from flesh and blood emotions make up a life beautiful and hell as well.. Its like you meet a friend after a while , laugh, crack jokes, have a good time only to realize few days later perhaps that both are in the same boat...and d laughter, d jokes , d seemingly cool happiness is not d reality, just a mask..you think your friend is really lucky to have such a cool life with everything apparently falling into place , just perfect as she had planned and your friend thinks d same for you but reality speaks something else..both in the same boat..afraid to voice their state of mind, in d fear of being called emotionally weak...such a miserable state.. If with so much of formal education one cant find words to express oneself wts d worth of education even...
Sometimes you find indulging yourself in being an escapist...but wts wrong in being an escapist to find regain d petty morsel of saffron strength n courage you had lost after a battle to rekindle your yearning for your dreams and aspirations..wts wrong in wishful thinking if it takes care of your bruises and brings a smile on your face ...makes you happy until you find yourself strong enough to wake up n find yourself perfectly alright to struggle again...Whats the use of good memories if dey cant help you survive ur bad times like a dream..Had been a solitary reaper and talking to myself in times of solitude. reaping the good old memories At tyms I find myself stupid,smiling like an idiot and at tyms too blank even to depict ....I dnt find it any wrong to be happy in whichever mode you want to be when people around you become insensitive to you and you are a non existing entity of meager importance...Afterall we get only one life to live ...In the words of a poet, "Everything that takes life and root from earth shall return back to dust"
wow loved all the way reading it
ReplyDeletethanks so much...m glad u liked it..stay tuned for more.. :)
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